so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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