Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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