Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
