also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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