We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize