I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
