then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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