Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter

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  (215): i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter http://tfl.nu/d1e8
  Replies (64) Good night (806) Bad night (2989)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning

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  (603): i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning http://tfl.nu/3q6t
  Replies (10) Good night (992) Bad night (4288)
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  (845): View more from New York

  alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.

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  (845): alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization. http://tfl.nu/1m6d
  Replies (16) Good night (8614) Bad night (1272)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.

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  (256): I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him. http://tfl.nu/7zd5
  Replies (23) Good night (1167) Bad night (5750)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.

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  (608): She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party. http://tfl.nu/e28o
  Replies (7) Good night (2536) Bad night (897)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.

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  (+44): There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside. http://tfl.nu/nyqa
  Replies (2) Good night (1805) Bad night (801)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"

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  (918): this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun" http://tfl.nu/d07w
  Replies (16) Good night (3629) Bad night (1072)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.

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  (770): Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days. http://tfl.nu/lo7p
  Replies (4) Good night (362) Bad night (1176)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.

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  (214): You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS. http://tfl.nu/zazd
  Replies (1) Good night (1462) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.

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  (910): I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy. http://tfl.nu/uqk4
  Replies (2) Good night (946) Bad night (315)
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  (310): View more from California

  He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.

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  (310): He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing. http://tfl.nu/4uvb
  Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (304)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.

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  (701): I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control. http://tfl.nu/z8ao
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (340)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  just found out that she named her cat after me.

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  (612): just found out that she named her cat after me. http://tfl.nu/gcoa
  Replies (4) Good night (314) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again

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  (918): I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again http://tfl.nu/ke6t
  Replies (6) Good night (855) Bad night (454)
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  (925): View more from California

  Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?

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  (925): Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early (401): You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him? http://tfl.nu/zkzj
  Replies (4) Good night (2529) Bad night (278)

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