You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
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Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
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Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.