Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
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He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
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If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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