things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize