Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize