I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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