Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
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A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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