You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
