i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize