.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
