Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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