I smell stomach acid.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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