i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can't put those talents on a resume
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
