Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
