Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
