I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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