It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
