her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
