Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
