It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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