Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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