i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
