how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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