Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
