If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
