pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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