I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize