i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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