you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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