You can't motorboat a personality
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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