sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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