lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
