That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
please come you make the beer taste better
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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