dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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