so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So many bounce houses so little time
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
