it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
