How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize