You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I AM VODKA MAN
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?