I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The Olympian is in my bed
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
