plz talk dirty to me
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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