No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Green mimosas i think yes
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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