I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
