i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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