I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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