Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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