i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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