i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
