He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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