Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
