this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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