All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
